The Patched Up Heart by Hiilei Barrows

Some say that people don't change. I have to disagree with this belief because I know that people are very capable of changing if they put their trust and faith in the Lord. Through him we can have a change of heart but it is up to us to take the steps and be willing to change for the better.

I have been a member my whole life, however, the decisions I have made haven't quite exemplified the mormon girl I should have been. I was kind of bi-polar. At school I was the nice, cool girl but to my family I was known as the devils child. I know it seems a bit extreme but thats how I acted. I could care less about my families feelings and actually enjoyed belittling them. I was constantly yelled at and punished for my terrible attitude but I didn't care. Pride filled my heart and I blamed others for making me a mean person. I always felt alone and unhappy. For a very long time I couldn't even say "I love you" because love seemed fake to me somehow.

Eventually, I grew tired of being so angry. Slowly but surely, I began to have a change of heart. . In Alma 5:21 it reads, "there can no man be saved except his garments are washed white; yea, his garments must be purified until they are cleansed from all stain, through the blood of him who should come to redeem his people from their sins." Well, my garments were far from white and definitely needed to be washed. Alma 5:22 continues to say, "how will any of you feel, if ye shall stand before the bar of God, having all your garments stained with blood and all manner of filthiness?" Personally, I would feel extremely embarrassed to be filthy before the Lord, therefore, I was in dire need of an intense cleansing process. I started going to seminary, actually paid attention in church, and began reading the Book of Mormon. I learned so much of the gospel and the mercy of the Lord. As it states in Alma 5:26 I have "experienced a change of heart and have felt to sing the song of redeeming love."

I am proud to say that I love my family with all my heart and am no longer considered the devil's child. We get along great and I am not ashamed anymore to say "i love you." The Lord has blessed me so much and I am grateful for the scriptures that testify of Christ. Jacob 3:2 reads, "O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever." By being pure we will be able to feel God's love he has for us. At times it will be difficult but as Jeffrey R. Holland said in last months General Conference, "God never leaves us alone in life." God wants us to return to him so we must do everything we can to live righteously to see again.

We must all strip ourselves from pride, envy, and sin and change our hearts to uplift our divine callings as children of God. In Alma 5:14 it states, "And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?" I know that I have received God's image in my countenance and I experienced a mighty change of heart. People can change if they are willing to submit themselves to the Lord and put their faith in him. We must serve him with all our might, mind, and strength because he loves us and wants the best for us.

Alma 5:21
Alma 5:22
Alma 5:26
Jacob 3:2
Jeffrey R. Holland
Alma 5:14