Blog 1

In my first year of seminary, New Testament year of study, my teacher, when teaching the chapters where Peter denied Christ, drew a graph on the board—she called it a faith chart. The peaks represented the points in Peter’s life when he manifested an astounding amount of faith, while the troughs signified the periods when his faith faltered. The line graph was decently strong, increasing at a steady pace until it peaked about halfway up the chart, descended a little, and then sharply dropped, which plummet corresponded to the solemn moment when Peter denied Christ. Immediately following that drastic drop, the line rose to nearly the top of the chart as Peter continued to serve in the quorum of the twelve faithfully for the remainder of his life until he was martyred for Christ. I like to think that his shame and guilt from denying the perfect Christ only increased his faith. Had he not denied Christ and exposed himself to such extreme sorrow, it is my opinion that his drive to serve Christ would not have been as strong. Perhaps that test taught him something that propelled him forward to endure endless strife for his Savior, his friend. In Ether chapter twelve verse six, Moroni taught an eternal principle that I believe to be 100% true:

“And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” [1]

This lesson was powerfully taught to me when, as a young girl of nine, my parents separated from one another. For years after the divorce, I prayed for my mother’s heart to mend, for her to finally find another man that could treat her as a goddess and could dissipate her loneliness in singlehood. Well, let me clarify that she was not pining away in solitude; but as a true daughter notices her mother’s moods, I could see that she was a bit lonely. With the tiniest morsel of faith that I could find in my heart, I sincerely asked Heavenly Father to bless her. Low and behold, in strolls Mark S. Mears, the very picture of a God given miracle, to my mother at least—oh, and I approved of him, too. I knew he was the one, and after years of prayer and faith Heavenly Father answered my prayers.

Each time I re-read the Book of Mormon, a new principle pops out to say “hello” to me. During this year’s perusal, I found that Nephi did not always believe in his father with total confidence. At one point, he had to pray to ensure that his father was following the Lord and not falling off the deep end: “…wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father.”[2] When I read that scripture, I felt as though I was in good company, for I frequently need the Lord to soften my heart and help “mine unbelief.” [3]

Sariah, a loving and worrisome mother, had to find the faith to let her children flee to the hands of Laban. I do not blame her for murmuring against Lehi. To the logic of a motherly mind, sending family to possible death would indeed seem unreasonable. Perhaps during those distressing days that Nephi and his brother’s were in the wilderness Sariah’s faith graph was a little low. Sariah had to face one of the ultimate—next to Abraham sacrificing Jacob—parent-child trials. Upon her son’s arrival home, she exclaimed:

“Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them.” [4]

I can visualize the upward spike of her faith on her faith graph as she watched her precious children return to her. The reason I love this part of the story, oddly enough, is because it demonstrates that sometimes parents quarrel and wives question their husbands. It is a comfort to know that parents do not have to be perfect, for when I am one I know I will not be; for me, it is a blessed reassurance of humanity amongst some of the most diligent of souls. That notion gives me hope. Sariah is an example to me that even an old woman, a wise and experienced woman, may doubt the Lord’s hand in her life, and even better is the idea that she can become stronger still.

I realize how overused the narrative of Nephi going to get the plates from Laban is; it is a story used for almost every faith lesson. From age 3, members are taught the story of Nephi’s courage. Yet, despite its being habitually repeated, I still am in awe of Nephi’s courage: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”[5] What a motto! So simple, yet unfathomably arduous sometimes. Too often do I shy away from living the Lord’s commandments, especially in callings. I recall about a year and half ago, I was called to be the Laurel class president, and I was terrified. Oh my! I had to organize the New Beginnings program for the up and coming beehives; I had to deligate assignments, plan the decorations, and worst of all, I had to make phone calls—it may not seem scary until you have to call several strangers to ask them questions about their daughter’s interests. In order to even pick up the phone, I had to take a few days to prep myself about what questions to ask and ways to keep my voice from squeaking when I was nervous. I cannot imagine—after all of the knots I got from just planning an activity—having to stroll up to one of the most powerful men in the city and will myself to forget that I had to kill him in order to get my father’s book. Thus I shall reiterate my awe: What a motto!

A few years back when I thought I was hot stuff—and I was watching “The Other Side of Heaven”—I came up with a motto of my own. This is my philosophy: “There is no quest in life that is not an opportunity to learn, grow, and prove your faith.” Rather short, isn’t it? Nevertheless, I believe it. “This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God,”[6] and in every moment of life, we will be faced with doing what is right, what is good, what is better than good, and what is the best possible choice. As Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego faced the fury of an idolatrous king; as Nephi carried the weight of his family when all murmured out of hunger; as Lehi left his home and brought his family to the front step of adversity in the wilderness—as each of these noble people, I hope to one day raise my faith graph to the top level. I hope to act in faith as Nephi when writing upon the plates although he knew not why save for “other wise purposes, which purposes are known unto the Lord.”[7]

Resources

[1] Ether 12:6

[2] 1 Nephi 2:16

[3] Mark 9:24

[4] 1 Nephi 5:8

[5] 1 Nephi 3:7

[6] Alma 34:32

[7] I Nephi 19:3